Harriet Stencen (spelling?): Education teaches us that those of you in the audience probably know just as much, or more, than those of us who are teaching the class so you have so much expertise that will help us and that's what we're depending on, to help you and to help us make decisions, decisions, making terrific decisions.

I'm going to introduce myself first. I'm Harriet Stencen. I am the National Vice President for Public Policy for the Association for Family and Community Education. I'm a farmer-rancher from Nebraska.

Margaret Myne (spelling?): My name is Margaret Myne. I am a program coordinator for the Western Region for the National Association for Family and Community Education and I grew up on a farm in Kansas. My parents just retired. My in-laws still farm. Um, but my husband and I have lived in Yuma, Arizona, for 27 years, which is desert country, but it's highly agricultural.

We'd like to give you a little bit of background information on us, for instance, about how we got to be a team. We are, as you probably picked up on, both members of the National Board for the Family and Community Education. One of the programs that we teach for the education pro. . . . for the association is called "The Character Counts Program" which taught ethical decision making. Margaret and I have taught the class together to marines, to women of our organization, to high school kids, modified as a, the material needs to be, to grade school kids, to men, to community agencies, to other institutions, to the, the, list goes far and wide so this is fun class and we always have a good time in it.

Okay, it's been fun working with Harriet. The marine (inaudible) for the marine corps works with delinquent children so that wanted something that they could use with those kids and so that's how we got involved with the marine corps. Ah, there's a big contingency in Yuma so it came from Nebraska out there.

Stencen: I'd like to, to just say a little bit about our organization. We have 30,000 members nationwide. We are a volunteer organization, um, nonprofit. Our National President is at the door, um, in the red jacket. Um, the other lady with her is also on our national board. We've made them go first today and we get to return the privilege tomorrow in their class. FCE membership is open to everyone. Ah, if you'd like more information, see one of us and we'll help you out. We have, um, 35 states that have membership, as well as Puerto Rico. They're also members. Our annual conference is coming up here in about a week so we're madly, we're doing two jobs while we're here trying to get ready. So, if you have any questions about FCE, we did talk just a few minutes before this class started about, our organization belongs to another national organization that is made up of several, like six different organization, called County Women, Country Women's Council, who in turn, been, is member, they are members of the Associated Women of the World and they've been around 63 years. They are in many, many countries. They are 9 million women strong and it is a rural, ah, it's country woman, people who are on farms and they have a very good record with government in other countries in getting resolutions past concerning women and agriculture in those countries. their International Treasurer is here at the conference somewhere, so, um, you can ask us about that as well.

The other part of the information that you are going to be receiving today is from "The Character Counts Program" from the Michael Jacobsen (spelling?) Institute. Michael Jacobsen is an attorney in California who has dedicated his life to the teaching of ethical skills, actually ethical skills, which leads then to ethical decision making and "The Character Counts Program" is very a very intensive program, that is, the study of ethics, truly. Margaret has taken the, how many days, three and a half, three and a half days intensive training and, and I have received training on the national level as well and we've done our best to pass this on.

(Inaudible)

On the inside of your handout you will see, ah, it's called the Aspen Declaration. This was developed by the philosophers, the educators, the religious leaders, numbers of people that Michael Jacobsen brought together in Colorado to develop the Aspen Declaration which is a statement about ethics and how it is adopted by all cultures, all religions, all socio-economic groups believe in these ethical principles which we are going to work with you today on and these eight statements, ah, can, will tell you that the next generation our the stewards of our communities, the nation and the plane, so, we continue to bring these ethical values to our children with, with us ourselves being the role model for the children.

Myne: So you can guess our topic today is on making ethical decisions. I wish we didn't have to use these, but we do. People today have a really in. . . ., an intensified interest in ethics, especially when we listen to the radio. We watch television. We read the magazines and the newspapers and what are, what do we see when we see, when we hear the radio or listen to television, ah, read the newspaper? What do we hear?

?: Crime and corruption.

Myne: Crime and corruption. In one of the workshops it was brought up about the number of shootings in schools by other children. That's what we hear. We don't hear the good stuff that the kids are out their doing or the, the, we, as women are doing. We hear all the bad stuff and so all we can think of is we need to do something about it, so there's a renewed interest. Violence is, of course on the rise, worldwide. Younger children are abused or their co going on right now.

Almost everything that we do as human beings has an ethical dimension to it whether we really realize it or not, every decision we make has an ethical element to it and it would be really an unkind world out there if we didn't have some guiding ethical principles. Research has shown that ethical attitudes can be changed at any age. They can be learned and changed no matter how young or how old you are. It can be changed, so I hope you keep an open mind. By a thoughtful process we can address everyday, as well as global ethical issues that affect all of us. What goes on in one country affects those of us in the United States or those of us in another country. What the United States does affects other people. This workshop is going to focus on what ethics and values are. We're going to tell you what the difference is and how they come together. We're going to talk about the six colors of character and we're also going to talk about, and this is the hands on part, actual ethical decision making.

Stencen: So, as you gathered, there are really three parts to this workshop. You're going to learn, first of all, what's the difference between value and ethics. Did you ever thought about that before? Most of us think they're the same thing. Second part is, you're actually work through some ethical dilemmas. They're true dilemmas that happen to us everyday and finally we're going to look at a circles of decision, and those of you who were in the workshop this morning that heard about the Indian culture that makes decisions based on how it will affect the seventh generation. So the circle of decisions that we'll ask you to work through this morning, we'll take a look at some of those kinds of ideas.

Myne: And as we go through this workshop we want you to remember three things - ethics are all around us. Ethics are easier said than done. Ah, it's not for "wimps". It takes a lot of, of guys to be ethical and then the final things is understanding what ethics are and sharing a set of principles is the beginning steps towards more ethical behavior.

Stencen: As you can see ethics is not about the way things are. It's about the way things ought to be. So, with that in mind I'd like have you turn to the person next to you or behind you and share with them who you think the most ethical person is that you know. It might be somebody like Mother Theresa. Doesn't have to be someone in your immediate life, but someone, perhaps, that you look up to and admire. So, share with each other about who, who do you think is the most ethical person that you know.

Have you decided yet? Do some of you want to share what you have decided in your life the most ethical person that you know? If you'd like to come to the mike, just a couple of you, quickly, so that we can find out who you admire as an ethical person in your life.

You're too busy sharing, aren't you? Someone have a quick answer? Go ahead

?: My father.

Stencen: Your father? How many people had their father as an ethical person? I heard some discussion as several people had their father. Anyone else? Just, say, say someone that you know. Your husband.

?: General manager of a dairy company (inaudible)

Stencen: The general manager of a dairy company. Male or female?

?: Male.

Stencen: Male.

?: A friend.

Stencen: A friend.

?: My mother.

Stencen: Your mother. Okay. Lots of answers of ethical people that you know. Now, in your mind, as you, as you, as you've identified those ethical people, put some descriptive adjectives on those people. How would you describe those people as an ethical person? What are the characteristics that they display?

(Inaudible)

Myne: I heard a question up here as to what, what is ethics, so we're going define that for you. The simple definition of ethics is standards of duty and virtue that indicate how we should behave. Based on what they think their, what their duty, ethics is beyond that. We're going to talk about values because that plays a part in it as well. What are values are. But, keep this in mind, and it, and it's the overhead said a little bit ago, ethics is not about the way things are now, but way, the way should be, the way they ought to be, so, we're going to talk about that because we think we can help with that.

There are two aspects of ethics. One is the ability to discern right from wrong, good from evil, a propriety from impropriety. That's probably the easiest part. We know what the difference is between good and evil, what's right and wrong and a lot of people who are out there committing crimes, I think they really do. They just don't want to admit. The hardest part, though, is the commitment. The commitment to do what is right regardless of the temptations and pressures to otherwise. We talk a lot about peer pressure. Ah, people doing, well, everybody else does it so it must be okay for me to do it. Sometimes the cost of being ethical to do what is right is really high. You might lose a friendship. You might lose money over it. You might lose your job over it, so the commitment part of it is the hardest part. We really do know between the difference between right and wrong.

Stencen: As you go through this workshop remember that this whole decision making process based on ethics applies to women as they move into decision making places on boards, on elected positions, or as you make decision within your family. But, this process which we're going to show you which is a simple family process that you can sue between friends, between your family move, the same process applies as you move into decision making roles on boards and in elected positions.

(Inaudible)

Stencen: We're ready to get into the difference between values and ethics and this goes into everyone's background, something that they bring to the table from their own value system is based on those four parts of values that comes from your personal values, your cultural values, your religious values, then it goes into the universal values, but, everyone has, in some cases, different, personal values. You have your own beliefs about, for instance, about smoking or gambling or youth in Asia or gun control, welfare. Those kinds of things are your personal values, what you believe is the right thing to do in that situation. Everyone has their own cultural values based on the culture that they were brought up in. Many cultures have different beliefs about marriage, about birth, about fidelity, about gender roles such as what we're talking about at this conference in some cases, about, even, religious observations. The different manners and greetings are different in different cultures and those are cultural values which are important people and what they bring form their own personal life-style, which are taught to them from their culture and that's, those are values which are important to us as a people. Everyone has their own religious values. Even if you do not have a religion, you have a religious value which is no religion. Your religious values may or may not include a belief in the Ten Commandments or violating dietary laws or lying and theft. Those are religious values that people have because of their own personal life-style, their own culture, their own, the way they are in their own household and society.

But, overriding all of those values are the universal values which cover them all and those include the ones in the lower left-hand corner - respect, responsibility, love, unity, honesty, promise keeping, those universal values which are, as I said, they cover all the rest of them and they rise to the top of the other personal values. Now, when you see the six pillars in the middle, those are the six universal values and ethical values that were adopted by, under the Aspen Declaration, that are accepted by, every culture. Every culture has adopted and agreed that those six pillars of character applies to their culture. Every religion agrees that these six pillars of character apply as an overriding, overriding pillar of all the personal, religious and cultural values and every social economic group agrees that those six pillars of character, trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and citizenship rise to the top. They are the ethical values that control the decisions that we make in our lives. We may not have identified them yet, but we will as we work through this workshop that you will come to understand that those six pillars of character their there in your lives and your applying them in various levels, so we're hoping to bring that to your attention that those, those six pillars of character, trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and citizenship are at the top of the ladder.

As I said, the values are those important beliefs and desires that shape our attitudes and motivate our actions. Those are the values that we have personally, but they are different than ethics. Value refers to all those important beliefs and ethics refers only to beliefs about moral right and wrong based on those six pillars.

And, as we talked about before there are the personal, cultural, religious and universal values with the personal, cultural and religious values being based on them the ethical values that override all of them. The nonethical values are the pleasurable and pragmatic values.

And, if you want to look at this way, there is a hierarchy of ethical values with life-style preference being on the bottom. Religious and philosophical and then cultural and professional which include the laws and the customs that, that we have in each country. With the universal six pillars of character being, as I said at the top of the, at the top of the ladder. They control them all and they override them all and this is just another way of looking at it.

So there we have the six pillars of character that help us make terrific decisions and if you can pick that out, the words trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness caring and citizenship, put that together and it makes a really neat acronym - TRRFCC, so if you can remember that it will help you make TRRFCC decisions.

Myne: So, now we're gonna to talk a little bit about each of the six pillars and they come in order, the first one being trustworthiness, so think about what you think about what trustworthiness means to you. Think about what it means to you. It means living with integrity, being honest, being reliable, keeping your promises and being loyal. That's what it's all about.

Stencen: Second one is respect. It brings up the matter of the golden rule. How many of you know what the golden rule is? Do unto others, right? Have you heard of the platinum rule? The golden rule says do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Think about the platinum rule, do unto others as they would be done unto. An example of that is if I want to invite a friend to myself and I love prime rib of beef I would fix that for them as a, as a sight of respect of honor, of that I am giving them the best that I could give them, but I forgot that my friend is a vegetarian so do unto others as they would be done unto. Another part of respect is to tolerate and expect beliefs that you don't believe. You don't have to do as they do, but you need to respect those beliefs and be tolerant, to be nonviolent and be courtesy, is to show the solemn regard of the worth of people, including oneself and that goes back to self-respect.

Myne: And self-esteem.

Stencen: The ethical duty is to treat everyone with respect. Not to respect everyone in the sense that we hold all people high esteem or admire them, but you must respect them as a person, as a human being.

That brings us to the third pillar which is responsibility. Being responsible means to be honorable, to do your duty, sometimes that's a hard thing for us to do, to be accountable. Ah, I think that word responsible is missing from a lot of things today. I think we don't want to, it's easy to pass the buck, blame somebody else. To pursue excellence, to do your best. We have a duty to do our, to do our best. We're not always the best at what we do, but we can certainly try and to exercise self-control. I did this for a group of junior high kids last week and we talked about what self-control means, what do you do be self . . . ., what do, what does that mean to you.

Do we have a question? Okay.

The other part of responsibility is that life is full of choices. What kind of choices did you make this morning? To which workshop to go to? How about something more basic, what else did you, what do wear? What you had to do before you had to, before you decided what to wear? You had to make a choice about whether your ready to get out of bed, so life is full of choices and your choice affected other people and we're going to talk about that in a little bit. Being responsible means being in charge of our choices and that's our lives. We chose not to get out of bed. We had to say, it was my choice not to get out of bed and these are the consequences that I have to suffered. I missed a wonderful workshop or I missed a terrific lunch. We have to be responsible for that.

Myne: Okay. The next pillar is fairness and that includes justice and that's an important pillar for all of us. Be fair and just. Impartial, consistent, that's sometimes hard for us as parents if we're talking about fair and consistent. Listen and be open to different viewpoints. Be careful that making decisions that affect others and follow fair procedures.

Stencen: Caring is the fifth pillar and what do you do for caring. First you have to be caring, be compassionate, be kind, be considerate, be charitable, be (inaudible) and be unselfish. That's all what caring is about and we're going through these rather quickly and they are on your handout which you will be working with as you as you work through the moral dilemma so this will help you.

To be a good citizen, which is the final pillar, is to do your share and care about the common good and a suggestion here is to be a volunteer. Volunteer for helping your school and community to be a better place, that's part of good citizenship and under that is also to respect the authority and the law.

All of these together help us make terrific decisions. Okay.

Myne: Now we're going to come to the hands-on part, so, if we could get our, ladies come up here. What we'd like to do is have you break into, um, groups of, of about five groups, I think. Groups of four to five in a group. Move your chairs around. You don't need to be facing up here particularly. Move your chairs around. Find somebody you don's know.

Stencen: Before you start on your ethical dilemmas I would like to bring this overhead to your attention and this is a quick way to make an ethical decision and it's call the bell, book and candle rule. First one is the bell. This, the bell, book and candle, if you are old enough to remember the old Broadway play, "Bell, Book and Candle", the bell means to just listen, listen. Your conscience will tell you. Listen for that little bell that rings in your ear, that warns you of an ethical issue. Second, look at the book. Check to see if there's any laws or regulations that has this law or regulation written down that will affect your decision, whether it's an ethical decision or not. For instance, how many of us know that there are laws on the books about speed regulations? Speed regulations. How many of us obey those 100% of the time or in the states that have seat belt regulations? That is something that's in a book, as a law and that's, that's something that is the book. Check to see if it's in a book somewhere, it's written down. And the final one is the candle. How's your decision going to look in the light of day or if was spotlighted, or if it were on TV tomorrow? How is your decision going to look under the light of day or under, under a huge spotlight? So, check on the bell, book and candle rule. So go ahead and work through your moral dilemma, your ethical dilemmas and then we'll ask you . . . Pardon me?

(Inaudible)

Myne: Yes, you get two different dilemma for each group. Someone should read them to the rest of the group. There are questions to answer. Appoint a spokesperson cause we want to hear what you've come up with.

Stencen: And, and remember as you work through these the six pillars of character and which one of those are going to take precedence. (inaudible) You're going to find that one of the six pillars is going to be more important than the other five. (Inaudible)

Myne: That doesn't mean you don't take care of those six because if you take one out, the building comes down, but sometimes one comes to the top that's more, you have to make a choice. I'm going to be more responsible than caring. I'm gonna still care, but I have to have responsibility first.

Stencen: And as an example of that, and this is not on one of your ethical dilemmas and most of these are true stories. Ah, in the second World War, there were, of course, Jewish people who went into hiding. Ah, a gestapo came to the door of a couple that was hiding a Jewish person and asked if there were any Jews here. Now the ethical dilemma is do I trustworthiness and tell the truth or do I exhibit caring for my fellow man or responsibility to the state? Those are the ethical dilemmas.

Myne: And those ethical dilemmas come with costs if they had been found out. There's always a cost to an ethical dilemma and the decision that you make. Okay, go for it.

Stencen: Have you all worked through both dilemmas/

(Inaudible)

Stencen: Have you all worked through the first dilemma? There are two dilemmas ..., each group got two so if you only, have you all worked through one?

(Inaudible)

Stencen: Have someone that is appointed in your group on what you came up with. On one? Have you all got one done?

(Inaudible)

Stencen: What we'll do is we'll go ahead and hear what your group came up with on your specific dilemma. Okay? Which group is going to volunteer to go first. Back here. Would you come to the mike please. They are taping this and we need to, ah, record it and what I would like from you is to tell me what number dilemma you have. We're going to read it first.

?: Number seven. Reading it first it says - Bob works in a tractor and machinery sales, parts and repair business. A customer inquired about installing a new air-conditioning system in a tractor cab. Bob looked in the parts catalogue and noticed that the price of the system, including the installation, was $1,288. The customer agrees to the price and had the system installed. When the customer pays the bill, Bob knows that he's misquoted the cost of that particular air-conditioner and that the actual price was $1,008. What is his ethical dilemma and what pillars are conflicting.

We thought that his ethical dilemma was the responsibility to the customer and to the boss. He came into the main feature of the pillar with fairness and to think that he should consider what his future business or the future business of his employer and his own employment, that the pillars that came into play, they were trustworthiness, fairness and accountability and the decision we would recommend is that he would inform, at the time of payment, the error.

Stencen: Any discussion?

Myne: Did they come up with a good decision?

?: Yes

Stencen: I can tell you that this is an actual ethical workshop that is given to BMW dealers. BMW dealers have to learn ethics in their business and this is very common in the business world today. Ethical workshops are very common in the business world today.

Myne: Okay. Next group.

?: You all ready? This one's juicy. Ann knows that Dan, the husband of her daughter, Ellen, is having an affair. Dan and Ellen have three young children. Ellen is devoted to her family, but she is proud and Ann thinks that she would insist upon a divorce regardless of the personal and economic consequences. Ann is not sure whether Ellen would really want to know about Dan's infidelity. Ann's husband, Ed, sees that Ann is upset and wants to know why. Ann knows that Ed has never cared for Dan and would tell Ellen immediately about the affair and encourage her to leave Dan.

What is the ethical dilemma? We basically decided that it was whether to do anything at all, you know, whether to talk to somebody or not. Yea, whether to get involved or not. The issues were basically trust and caring, what should Ann consider, ah, and what decision did we come up with? We thought that she should get professional help.

LAUGHTER

Because, well, we don't have enough information to know. Did she have actual proof that Dan is having an affair? You know, I mean. He may, you know. We just didn't, really didn't have enough information and so, and we figured a professional would be able to help her work through all the consequences and decisions.

(Inaudible)

?: If he, she was going to do something we figured that she should talk to the son-in-law first, give him the opportunity to address the situation first.

Myne: And I think in this world of ours, this is truly something that does happen in families. We've done this workshop with a lady said this is exactly what happened and in the end they did go to the daughter and talk to her.

(Inaudible)